A Box of Love

Although there is an uneasy peace in Northern Ireland, its capital, Belfast, was long besieged by hate and violence. Decades of conflict between Loyalist Protestants and Nationalist Catholics has bred deep-seated hostility that has been passed on from generation to generation. Parents teach children to carry on the fight, thus perpetuating the unrest. As a result, sectarian violence has led to tragic loss of life in events such as Bloody Sunday when 13 Catholic protestors were shot dead and the Shankill Bombing when 10 Protestants, including children, were murdered. Since the violence erupted over 30 years ago, more than 3,600 people have been killed in the conflict.

However, with the help of youth worker Alan McBride, some young people are working to break the cycle. Alan runs the Wave Centre, where people scarred by the violence can come to heal. The Centre focuses on therapy for young people who lost loved ones to the "Troubles" as the Irish call the conflict. For one young girl, healing begins with a film.

Grace's Story

A large Victorian house in Belfast has become the meeting place and social centre for a group of young people participating in the Wave Centre's projects. When one of the Irish tenors Ronan Tynan made a visit, the kids gathered to share with him their latest art projects. One teenager, Grace Caldwell, presented a video she just completed. It is a film of a box labeled, "All I Have Left of My Dad is a Box of Love and Memories."

Grace is one of the many children—both Catholic and Protestant—who have lost loved ones to the violence in Northern Ireland. She shows the other kids at the Wave the objects in her box of memories. "My Dad was killed when I was two and a half," she says as she pulls out her treasures. They include a few pictures of Grace, her father and the wallet he was wearing at the time of the blast. "It might seem silly," she added, "but this is all I have left of my Dad. I do love him, and I never will forget him."

The Wave is a place where children can share feelings that they might be too self-conscious or embarrassed to talk about with others. It is a place where kids who would normally be enemies instead help each other recover. They find their tragic past gives them something to share.

Allen McBride understands the feelings of Grace and the other teenagers. He too, suffered a tragedy. His wife died in the Troubles. The program at the Wave is a way for children who have lost loved ones to express their pain creatively. By offering this outlet, Allen hopes the kids will be able to manage their grief and build bridges with others who experienced similar tragedies, regardless of their association with a particular side.

Today, there are five Wave Centres throughout Northern Ireland. Such centers offer hope that people can unlock the pain and learn to see the sameness in each other rather than the differences.

What's Next for Grace?

Since an accord between the factions was negotiated in 1998, there has been an uneasy peace except for isolated attacks by paramilitary forces. Belfast is a now a bustling city with an improved economy. People are determined not to return to the murderous past. The work Grace is doing at the Wave is an example of how some people are taking concrete steps to overcome pain and put old hatreds behind them. By sharing her memories with children from the other side, Grace is building a more constructive future for herself and her community—one based on what people have in common rather than what divides them.

It will not be an easy path. Many issues remain unresolved and beneath the surface, tensions simmer. However, because of the Wave and similar programs, kids who have lost loved ones to the Troubles are not seeking revenge. They are dealing with their anger and hurt in constructive ways. For them and for Grace, there is now opportunity.

What Can You Do?

Learn more about intolerance. You might not live in a community plagued by sectarian violence like Grace, but intolerance can touch our lives in subtle ways. United Nations organizations like UNICEF and UNHCR work to combat the abuses that stem from discrimination and intolerance. UNICEF's MAGIC program shows groups and individuals how to use the media to publicize the rights of children, and the INCORE program pairs the United Nations University with the University of Ulster in Northern Ireland.

You can also participate in programs provided by organizations such as the Anti-Defamation League; Court TV's We Are Family initiative; Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Foundation; Operation Respect; and the We Are Family Foundation. Some sites, like the European Commission Against Racism and Intolerance offer lesson plans and videos that help educate people about the problem.